Mediation in a
Tennessee Divorce
More and more commonly divorces are being resolved in
mediation. In fact often times a Judge
will order parties to attend mediation prior to setting a divorce case for
trial. This is good because it gives a
divorcing couple a great deal of control over how the issues are resolved.
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a process where the parties to a lawsuit sit
down, usually in separate rooms with their respective attorneys, and attempt to
reach a settlement on some or all issues in the case. A mediator is a neutral third party, usually
an experienced attorney, who will go back and forth between the parties in an
attempt to broker a deal to resolve the case or at least parts of the case. Mediators never advocate for either
side. Their job is to help each side
understand the other party and resolve their differences. In order to accomplish this they have to stay
neutral.
How does mediation
work?
Mediation is an informal process. It’s very much more relaxed than the inside
of a Court room. As mentioned before, a
mediator will go back and forth between the parties attempting to settle all
issues. Mediation is conducted one of
two ways. One both parties sit in the
same room with the mediator attempting to work through all the issues of the case. This can be counter-productive if emotions
are running high. Another method, often
called the “shuttle method” has the parties in separate rooms. The mediator then “shuttles” back and forth
between the parties presenting issues and discussing ways to resolve those
issues.
Mediation might seem like a big inconvenience but it can
truly be a blessing. Being a litigant
and having a lawsuit or divorce looming over your head is stressful and can run
you down. A mediator had just finished laying
out a proposal to one of my clients in a really big civil action but this
proposal would have required them to make a compromise or two. After seeing that my client was reluctant he
turned to them and said, “This is your chance to stop being a litigant and move
on with your life.”
While this was an obvious statement, it has very profound
implications. Sure you have to make a
compromise but you get to stop worrying about the case. You get to turn your energy to more
productive things. You no longer live in
limbo not knowing how the outcome will be, you and your soon to be spouse get
an equal say so in how it all goes as opposed to having a complete stranger (a
Judge) make a decision without having all the facts.
Sure we lawyers love to think we can lay everything out
perfect and we usually get our points across.
But what may seem like an Earth shattering piece of evidence may elicit
no more than a shrug from your Judge who has in likelihood seen and heard it
all not just once before but gets to hear it at least once a week.
Do I still need an
attorney?
Yes! Divorces are complex
and driven by a mixture of facts and law.
Having a lawyer will ensure you’re on equal footing with your spouse. While mediation may be less formal than Court
it is binding in many cases. Having a
lawyer before going to mediation is essential.
Your attorney should be familiar with all aspects of your case before
attending mediation.
An agreement reached in mediation may impact you and your children
for the rest of your lives. While more
and more couples are attempting to handle their own divorces these days it is a
big advantage to have counsel for any piece of litigation.
Call Fendley & Etson at 931-245-4357 for a free initial consultation
today or visit us on the web Fendley & Etson.
